“When can being honest, be too honest?”
Me personally? I am a firm believer in never keeping someone in the dark. Despite having been on all sides of the revealing or obscuring and even totally blanketed, I’ve come to realize that being ‘in the know‘ helps define you as a person who can be relied upon and believed or a person who you can expect to be forthcoming about whatever.
That doesn’t mean be a brash, harsh dick about things, by it may need a comfortable setting and a glass of wine/alcohol (your choice) or two.
I once told a guy about my less than vanilla lifestyle and he couldn’t handle it. Brought it up every chance he got – even shit that happened prior to him! I once told a guy about the life I led and he tried to find a racial divide about why it didn’t work and where I faulted in that (also before his involvement with me)! Then I told a guy once and he was down…or so he thought. ‘Yea I can do whatever you want. Yea I can come and go, no titles. I just want to be able to dick you down and eat the pussy, so long as you suck this dick too. Yea, whatever you want.’
Whatever I want, he said.
Now mind you, he hadn’t earned a spot in my lineup to make any demands or command any time, we hadn’t gotten there yet. But when I’d made time for previous slot holders, he started to get beside himself with contempt: ‘What’s up? You got time for other ni**as and not me? Well I guess I’ll hit up an old head then.‘ As if that would make me feel some type of anger?
So, not all men (in this case), can handle a woman’s forthrightness and blunt-force trauma when she’s the one saying how it’s gonna go. I do believe some things are better left unsaid until a level of trust can be had. However, with regards to sex? Be as upfront as humanly possible. Let them take it however it falls.
SN: currently entertaining a guy, younger than I, with an opportunity to be laid down, he pondering….*snickers inside…he is trying to figure out if he can take a backseat and be told by an older woman how, when and what to do! His question to himself?
‘How can I make her think I want this shit (when I don’t), but still be able to fuck without revealing my agenda?’
What’s your thought?