When one begins this particular genre, one must be able to sort out the battle between whether or not one ‘could write it?’ and ‘what would people think if one did?’ You see, I, myself and not the writer, am “a well-known, Community-based involver”, as well as an “every Sunday, Church-going, singing in the Choir and attending meetings…oh yea, Youth Director of said Church” type of person.
Would God surely send you packing from the Gates of Heaven? Would the Devil, himself, welcome you with open arms? There is dilemma you create within the hell of your own mind before putting pencil to paper. Myself? I had been writing for a while anyway, just not this way. Poetry and short stories about mundane everyday things filled my paper, but it wasn’t something I wanted to read, if you catch my drift.
When writing this type of genre, you must want to hold your own attention to the paper, not be able to put it down or even stop writing. Your words need to be more than just eye-catching or jaw-dropping, but make the reader think. Give the reader something to think about or imagine within their minds, make them ask, “Could this be me?” I wanted to write something I could believe and understand, not confuse with others I had seen or maybe not. Is it enough to resource your topic or genre to better understand and grasp what you’re attempting? Sure. By all means, Google and research it, but be sure that your understanding isn’t confuse with someone else’s interpretation of it.
I researched. I resourced. I lived and breathed it for about a year and a half. I knew what I had become and the story I wanted to tell. So when I decided that I would sit down and write about eroticism, with a small introduction and feel for BDSM, I didn’t just know what I read or found on the internet, or listened to people tell me about, I knew for myself.
Up until about 2 years ago, I was still living it; I was trying to manage my “normal” life and mix in the “fantasy” one, as well. I wasn’t quite any of my characters anymore, but I had begun to want some of the things that they expressed, others like me had expressed that they’d wanted. The types of things I decided to write about I could talk about with great passion and a clear thought out process with those of like minds and maybe even those who had read the genre. But my ‘hang ups’, if you will, came when family and close friends wanted to support the venture. It was a conversation that I knew I would have to have, but wasn’t sure about how or what I would say was a ‘driving force’.
You see, no one knew that me. No one was privy to knowing that I had led or continued to lead that type of lifestyle. My books, my writing, my Author Interviews…outed me. Now I had to prepare myself for the windfall of questions, prying eyes, concerned looks and judgmental stares…if they came.
Was I ready?